March 3, 2010
Don't
stop the Carnival!
The
show must not go on
by
Neil Smith
So now
the truth can finally be told. That is, the truth about the start of my
Mexican theatrical career... and its untimely demise!
It all started when I discovered that there was a theatrical “troupe”
in our winter vacation spot, Mazatlan Theatre by the Sea.
 They were planning to
put on a show of skits for the gringo community down here, so I emailed
offering to help in any way that made sense. After all, I have a little
bit of experience in such things, but unfortunately, not enough
experience to steer well clear of such opportunities.
I received a very quick response accepting my offer, which should have
alerted me, and telling me that they could keep a small part for me to
do with the three weeks of available rehearsal.
There was then quite a long gap in communication.
Finally, a week or two before we departed south, I was contacted once
more, apologizing for the delay, and explaining that things had stalled
a bit because the rest of the cast didn’t like the material, and wanted
it rewritten. OK. So I didn’t fail the audition... yet!
Then another email telling me that someone had dropped out, and they
had another role I could tackle as well.
Hmm.
They sent me the scripts, and I wondered just how bad the original
material had been, because these were really quite bad – the jokes were
taken straight out of my teenage yearbooks, but I had to assume that
someone knew their audience.
So I roll up to the first rehearsal, which was a bit of a shambles, but
hey - I’ve been here before and it’ll all be all right on the night.
I continue going to rehearsals three times a week, which I am beginning
to resent as it wasn’t quite what I had intended to do on my vacation
in Mexico, but you know, it’ll be all right on the night.
Things don’t improve, and another actor quits because he can no longer
memorize his lines.
I should point out that our cast is of a vintage similar to our new
“Aging Well” troupe in Deep River, with the deadly difference that down
here some of them think they can still act. I am beginning to wish that
I couldn’t remember my lines as well.
But it’ll be all right on the night.
Then the lighting and sound guys come in, and we all operate in
darkness and silence for another two or three rehearsals.
Finally, finally, we have our dress rehearsal! And the truth prevails:
this show is not going to be all right on the night.
The cast and director all agree the show is not good enough to put in
front of anyone. In short, it sucks. Really sucks.
We cancel it!
Each person is very kind, and there are no recriminations, and everyone
has their own reason for the situation.
- The material stinks – most of it was home-written, and no-one will
quite own up to writing it.
- The actors aren’t good enough.
- The direction isn’t strong enough.
- We can’t charge the public 120 pesos for this garbage.
- The technical people are ruining the show.
- It will irreparably damage the reputation of everyone involved
forever.
I voted “all of the above”!
But we all agreed that it was a worthwhile experience, and that we had
made a lot of nice new friends. Which is absolutely true.
We had a lot of good laughs – it was such a pity none of them were on
stage. We are planning a great cast party!
Now, do any of you want to buy a startling pink tie? Good price today,
almost free, special for you senor! Twenty-nine pesos only...
What’s that? Well what you wanna give me for it?
Where else can you have as much fun as this?
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