REDNECKS' GUIDE TO COMPUTER LINGO
LOG ON: Making the wood stove hotter
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keepin' an eye on that woodstove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood of'n the truck.
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not careful gettin' that farwood of'n the truck.
FLOPPY DISK: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.
RAM: That's the thing whut splits the farwood.
HARD DRIVE: Gettin' home in the winter taim.
PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter taim.
WINDOWS: Whut to shut in the winter taim.
SCREEN: Whut to shut when it's black fly season.
BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: Whuts left in the munchie bag.
INFARED: Whur the left over munchies go. Fred eats 'em.
MODEM: Whutcha did to the hay fields.
DOT MATRIX: Ol' Dan Matrix's wife.
LAP TOP: Whur the kitty sleeps.
KEYBOARD: Whur ya hang the dang keys.
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic knifes and forks.
MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn.
MAIN FRAME: Whut hole's up the barn roof.
PORT: Fancy flatlander wine.
ENTER: Northern for "come on in, y'all."