At 9 pm on January 5th, 1995, under a new moon, with a melting heat and constantly bitten by mosquitoes, me & my friend had a little glass of the medicine each -the town was San Francisco, by the Yarinacocha lake, near Pucallpa, at the Peruvian Amazonas; the Indians were the Shipibo-. It was hard for me to gulp it down, due to its harsh taste. I had to think Im just trying a new kind of liquor.
Sitting quietly, I waited for half an hour. Then, coloured images appeared, filling in the darkened space. Geometric patterned strips were vibrating in the air, whether I had my eyes open or closed. The witch doctor asked me if I was seeing something. And then: Yes, thats the ayahuasca intoxication. Its pretty nice.
Then, the problem became entirely physical: just my body and nothing else: how should I move it, which position to adopt, became an unbearable question. I couldnt remain just resting on one elbow. So I sat in the lotus position, spine straight and hands in a mudra.
The shaman sang. I moved my armss like snakes. The chakras lightened one after another; and the Buddhist raised up to my lips. Hands returned on over the knees, assuming various positions, according to the meaning of the vibration of each moment. The basic gesture was the right hand resting on the left.
Medicine was spreading all over my body from the stomach. When any kind of a contradiction appeared on my mind, I felt like I was going to throw up the contents of my stomach.
The cathartic effect of ayahuasca causes many people to vomit, while others undergo various types of physical purges. My nose, having a chronic allergic rhinitis, suddenly started to drain liquid. It was very liberating to blow it off with my bare hands...
I guessed that Medicine itself was far more extensive than we thought. Maybe there were never any priests, but only doctors: the man of knowledge cannot remain at the realm of theory, but use what he knows for the sake of everyone.
During the entire process, I yawned a lot, something which Ive noticed to happen consistently while experiencing other entheogens.
Each of my feet was standing on a separate reality. Through the positions my body adopted, I knew that symmetry doesnt exist -there is always one side or the other which dominates... There is no black or white magics either -just the left or the right.
Aftrwards, I went back to the sensations of my childhood, and cried a lot. I felt completely helpless, once again a girl lost in the Multiverse. At the same time, it made me feel capable of doing anything I could want, without any limits.
At this moment, I remembered I was told by someone that certain goddess would appear in front of me. I was supposed to take her blindfold out of her face. I called her, she appeared and quickly took the blindfold out by herself. Her eyes were as widely open as mine.
To stand up was a real challenge. My body was able to transform following thought: a bird, a very old woman, again a bird.
The witch doctor was singing ayahuasca songs. I wanted to sing along but I couldnt so I had to whistle, scratch the floor, clap my hands. Sounds faded aways so smoothly, reabsorbed by the forest. My ears were opening in soft blasts...
Later, I tried to walk, but the ground had ceased to be solid under my feet. The doctor told me to walk like a cat, one foot crossed in front of the other.
Stars were big, close living white lights. I reached up my arms and, for a moment, held the entire sky dome. Under our feet, Matter held us together.
As I walked around the hut, people and objects appeared like magnetic pits of darkness. The town dogs were barking as we moved through the endless wilderness of the night. I think it was then when I gained an ability I hadnt lost yet: to guess peoples intentions through their movements.
Then there was a mental rite: the killing of the But. It was a tangled bunch of hair, twisting like a burning witch at the bonfire we started right out of our minds, in the middle of the yard. The Shipibos were talking in their sweet tongue - things couldnt have been named by any other vibration.
I saw many images... the historic role of Catholicism as the rapist-lover of America... Aryans as red, Jews as yellow, and we Americans as an entirely new coloured trend: green. Mosquitoes as soldiers to protect the Amazonic rain forest. And much more. Just try it...Lunas alucinantes entornan sus ojitos de color llama de vela y se burlan y se abrazan cuando bailan entre sí.
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