A Venusian Rite
Years ago when I was seventeen, I chanced upon a curious tarot reader at the Renaissance Faire who gave me a reading I still reflect back on. The tarot reader correctly ascertained that I was concerned about my love life (more precisely, lack thereof) and offered this philosophical tidbit: in order to find love, he said, I had to be whole. This profound notion blew my adolescent mind, as it was the first time I had encountered such a concept. Although many philosophies and even pop psychology advocate such a thing or something similar, it is easy to stray away from this path. So many "romantic" notions contradict this (evidenced in slang terms such as "better half" and extremes of losing one's identity in a romantic partner).
This rite is really a "chartreuse" rite (green and yellow) in that it requires some in-depth self-examination in order to identify and banish certain behavior patterns that prevent this sought-after "wholeness." This rite can be used by either single people or those already involved as it is designed to cleanse negative patterns and strengthen the positive ones - thus reinforcing one's desirability and capacity to love.
This rite is meant as a solo working and will take three weeks to complete.
- Sigil Materials (because the sigils will end up being
destroyed in water, it might be advantageous to use a dissolvable
sort of paper)
- Herbs and/or oil for a bath (see Week Three for specific herbs needed)
- 7 Green Candles
- A bathtub
On a Friday, make a list of everyone you have ever been significantly in love with. "Significance" is wholly up to your judgment. If you consider significant the crush you had on the person who sat next to you in third grade or that one night stand in 1990 with that person whose last name you never knew but whose eyes you'll never forget, so be it.
After you have made your list, go through the names one by one and come up with a short phrase or concept of what it was exactly that attracted you to them and/or what it was they represented to you.
Next, for each person, note the concept word for what it was that drove you away from them or how (or why) you drove them away. For people you are still involved with, use what it is that you are triggered negatively by.
Lastly, list each person's astrological sign, if known, next to their name.
After you are finished, you should see some sort of a pattern in your lists. What compels you towards a person is probably a quality you lack or that is weak within yourself. What triggers you negatively about a person is probably a quality you need to examine and banish. Take some time to contemplate on your lists and delve into the roots of them. Contemplate until you recognize what it is you need to bring into your own self in order to be whole (instead of having to seek it out in others) and what it is you need to banish so you quit seeking out those charmingly dysfunctional types (or, if you're the charming dysfunctional one, what you need to banish so you quit screwing people over).
Create two sigils with mantras: one phrased to bring the positive quality you need to you and one to banish the negative quality. Put the banishing sigil aside without charging it yet.
Charge the positive sigil and put it somewhere where you will see it during the week. Keep the mantra in your head during this week and try to interject it into your thoughts at various times during the upcoming week. Do at least one action during the week to act out this positive quality, to purposely include it into your behavior.
On the following Friday, take the positive sigil and laugh heartily at it. Put it aside.
Charge the negative sigil. During this week, you will do with the negative sigil what you did with the positive sigil: repeat the mantra at various times during the week and perform some action to eradicate this behavior in your life. This would be a good week to divest yourself of physical objects (if applicable) associated with whatever negative behavior pattern your self-examination brought forth.
On the following Friday, take the negative sigil and laugh heartily at it.
Retrieve your list and your positive sigil. Now, it is time to note the astrological signs. Find what element you tend to tarry with romantically. (Aries/Leo/Sagittarius - Fire; Libra/Aquarius/Gemini - Air; Cancer/Scorpio/Pisces -Water; Virgo/Taurus/Capricorn - Earth). Acquire herbs and/or oils associated with said elements in order to include them in a ritual bath. There are many sources you can find to tell you what substances are associated with what elements, but here are some suggested choices (you can use just one herb/oil or a mixture):
FIRE AIR WATER EARTH
Frankincense Benzoin Vanilla Patchouli
Clove Lavender Lemon Honeysuckle
Wormwood Sage Chamomile Vervain
Prepare ritual bath with herbs or oil. Light 7 green candles and situate them around bathtub. Have list and sigils handy. Get into bath. Drop sigils into tub with you (thus destroying the sigils by the element of Venus: water.)
For the previous two weeks, you have dealt with the people in your past in generalizations. Now, you will confront each one as an individual for the purpose of separating them from your desired wholeness. Take up list. You are now going to indulge in nostalgia and visualize each person one-by-one on your list. As you bring each person into your consciousness, remember what was good and what was bad, and take this time to make any peace or resolution with them you feel is necessary - or, simply celebrate the memory - and then SEPARATE them from your being. Know that you can and will always value the lessons you gained from them and the love you shared, but that any residue of them you might have insecurely hoarded in your consciousness has got to go for the sake of your wholeness and theirs. What you want to achieve is a clean slate approach to each individual, including any you are currently involved with. You can visualize just that: wiping a chalkboard of dysfunctional attachment clean with an eraser; scissors cutting a clinging chord; or anything else you deem appropriate (and you can use different metaphors for each individual as well, if you like).
After you have finished this bath, drain the tub and know that your identity is now strengthened and the parts you must banish are going down the drain.
Do not be startled if people from your past suddenly pop back into your life during the three weeks of this ritual. If they do, use them as part of the ritual and act towards them in accordance with the "whole" behavior/attitude you are trying to accomplish via this rite.
Of course, this being a rite involving much self-examination and hopefully modification of behaviors/attitude, continuously record the progress of the rite in your magickal journal throughout.
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