The Lesser Banishing Ritual of Doublespeak (LBRD)

A Really Silly Opening Rite (this is a disclaimer)


1. The participants stand in a circle, facing one another.

2. Using a ritual dagger, wand, or pointed finger, all participants should quickly draw a symbol of their own choosing in the air in front of them (pentacle, cross, chaostar, rune, Barney) and visualize it.

3. The Evocation of the "Archangels": Stretch arms straight out to form cross. Intone:

Before Me Stands the Surgeon General's Warning

Behind Me Stands the Emergency Exits

On My Right Stands Big Brother

On My Left Stand All Those Bastards Who Get In My Way

For About Me Flame all of my Dysfunctions,


4. Turn to the East, intone: Enter at your own risk.

5. Turn to the South, intone: Nothing is true; everything is permitted.

6. Turn to the West, intone: Questions are a burden to others; answers a prison to oneself.

7. Turn to the North, intone: We disclaim all responsibility and cannot be held liable.

8. Face center again. Intone: Should we choose to accept our will, these tapes will self-destruct in 30 seconds.

9. Silently count to 30.

10. The Rite leader says: This temple is now open for the works of chaos.

11. All shout: Choyofaque.

[anti-copyrite] AutonomatriX
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