Grendels had an accident

An X-cursion into the land of Liberation.
An invocation of Grendel's Desire.
For the initiate to incorporate into a preferred format.
The temple is ready, the Self is prepared, the Trance is induced, the Desire stated...
the summons, the closing, then comes the laughter.


Blacker than black, Midnight of Death I summon your bleak Oblivion.
Time again and Illusion seemed drawn up from the heart of Nothing, I call your Bliss.
Take my Pain as an offering to my Self
My hurt is of the Multi-verse, an empty Void in my chest.
Despair god's of existence, your drama shall reap it's wretched sickle on you all.
All shall be undone; the pentagram broken; the Pact no more.
An elicitation, an event something more, a mirror image amongst the swine.
My magick is Death, my death is Life, and my life is Ecstasy.
This is my path, this shall be the cycle,
this call to you oh GRENDEL.
Adoptive son of the Dragon, the Word is upon our shoulders.
Tell of Nothing, let us be destroyed by our Desire so god may die.


My soul screams in orgasmic contradictions -- Silxofax Mantadragonia Ziflantamaxia Natasz
Azaximanda Callraptuption Sunta Faxim At Rax Zenfixamaphillaheme --
GRENDEL, who weeps upon existence, I pray unto myself.
BAPHOMET, fusion of Being and of Nothing, let us tear Choronzon asunder.
Mighty Set and Lord of Morning let me bear the joy of Liberation.
My Light and my Darkness, this is Nothing, my Self of god, a prophet reborn.
To invoke my being. I become -- Xephera Xephera Azazas AZATHOTH --
The Joy of Chaos is my soul. I AM and I AM NOT


-- The Skull is now a silent object, staring mute at me.
The Eye is two-dimensional again, the mage walks alone and
as poor little
GRENDEL has had an accident, so may you all --

The Rite of Godhood

Pre-cursor note: This rite incorporates a variance of the dark matter at hand rite.

Purpose: To call upon the god of self (HGA) and 'true' purpose. To cause great stirrings in the other consciousness in accordance with one's will. To attune the mind which is not Self with it's god path. An advanced initiation to the magical way (This was used as my initiation to the Autonomatrix - specifics to this version are in parenthesis"()").

Prepare the temple as one sees fit

Items: Sigils of SET as isolate intoxication. Sigils of Lucifer/ Christ as unity & love in shadow light. An ice cube. A sacrament (an immediate intoxicant, in this case, ketamine).

Seal the temple, call watchtowers to bear witness and protect (also familiars).


Open a chaos vortex


The performance of Grendel's had an accident Act I (experience a hurt while acting).


a) Perform callings of SET as isolate intoxication and Lucifer/ Christ as unity/ perfection in shadow light. Summon using spontaneous words (use of constructed sigils).

b) Statement of Will: "It is my will to manifest that which is potential. It is my will to find the potential lying in wait. It is my will to evolve. (It is my will to initiate this being into the AX for the immanentization of the pandaemonic epoch by the will and majesty of myself and the Great Dragon.) It is also my will to ask for a sigil of chaos to call and aid me/ us."

c) Declare:

"Xiqual Wec!"

"Ongo Wec!"

"Tomargo Wec!"

"Phenomenise dark matter! Do dark matter! Dark matter by whatever means necessary!"

d) Melt the ice cube on your forehead and open the 3'rd eye.

e) Perform Grendel's had an accident, Act II.

f) As you say the following words visualize a cosmic chaos-egg around the self. At this point partake of the sacrament. Start spinning around and around, as a dervish. Spin faster and faster while saying the following:

What was hidden has been found,

what was silent now is sound,

from the darkness to the light,

will of god, strength and might.

What is mine is mine to keep,

send my will, shred the sleep,

from the darkness to the light,

Binah-hokmah my will, my might.

- the gnosis part-

From within the dark earth sears

- Visualize a crack in the chaos-egg -

Transmutations, powers and fears

- The crack widens -

From the darkness to the light,

I declare this now by will and by might - KIA!!!

- An explosion as the egg cracks open, gnosis ensues,... collapse -

Note: A sigil should manifest during the trance. This is ones own chaos sigil from the universe. Recover



a) Performance of Grendel's had an accident, Act III. As one speaks (slowly) imagine that your voice echoes through out all of existence. Issuing forth a deep and powerful declaration (of war?).

b) Banish as one sees fit. Formalized. God's (destroy the sigils in fire), watchtowers, other.

V. Post Ritual

One must have some form of celebration following the ritual (raves are recommended). Worked sigils to cast should be fired during this celebration as to an enactment of Desire.


The rite seems very formalized, but it is not really. The only parts that need formality are the intents, but the visualizations and words should flow naturally. The only timing critical part is of course the trance. As per the chaos sigil, who knows what it is/ is not. It may be a power, information, spell, calling, banishing, (???). We do not know. A no-mind technique may be of use in divining the sigils meaning (it has not failed me yet). Also look for "synchronicities". We do not know in what way the sigil will manifest, or in what form. Love to all.

Welcome to Eternity.

GodHood Results

Today's date is 11/1/98

The Ritual (rite of god-hood) was performed. Upon arriving at the site, I realized that I forgot (I think purposefully) my sigils and guidelines for the rite. I performed the rite from memory and constructed the rest. Some very interesting things occur-ed.

The first was, in arriving at the ritual, I felt sort of hurt/ angry because the drummers did not want to partake of any intoxicants with me. I did not know them very well and they did not trust me. I do not blame them as I probably would do the same, but this bothered me. This "bother" seemed to manifest more and more (after the rite) and it seems that similar factors have been brought to the fore. As if the rite induced and called for an analysis/ correction of my personality (in this arena). This is where I am at now, confronting different "issues". Another interesting thing occurred, during the rite, upon calling Set, I felt a presence, a very cynical presence. It felt like, "Oh look, another god aspirant." A sigil manifested during the rite. A sigil whose attribution is the phoenix. I do not know what this sigil means yet:

(SIGIL OMITTED call [1]) whose number is 76, it sort of looks like a 7 & 6 combined. Upon being in an 'in-between' sleep/ awake state on Samhain night, a voice came to me. It sounded like a multitude of robot-like voices in unison. It said something to the effect of, "You were given the first of three. You must plan. You must do this again." I find this all highly unusual (yeah, as if yelling at the moon is normal?). It also seemed as if before I heard the voice, when I closed my eyes, a picture, a formulation of some sort was 'mutating'. I also noticed I placed a strong emphasis on the Setian part of the rite, and the calling of the southern watchtower was very strong. Ketamine was used as an intoxicant during the rite, and some pot later that night in celebration at a local rave. No personal sigils were fired and again a somber self-reflective feeling saturates me.

This being(s) whose voice(s) I heard, if it is a being at all, frightens me and excites me. More to follow... It feel as if the next part of the rite should be undertaken at the full moon (in a few days). For this part the moon was about 65% full and was performed on 10/30/98 between 6pm and 8pm (members of the Autonomatrix sent energies my way to be utilized during the right, from across the USA).

Today is 11/4/98

I performed the ritual again last night under the full moon, this vision did not seem as powerful as the first vision, but I was granted another sigil. This one resembles the hand of ERIS: (SIGIL OMITTED call [2]) It is like the uniting of worlds, touching of heaven and hell. I went out later that night...

Today is 11/5/98

Some observations of [1] whose number is 76 and is related to the phoenix. According to Grant. K. Nightside of Eden p.62(abbreviated KG:NOE:p.#):

"The final head is named the 'messenger of the fatal wind' and it is identified with the breath of fire, with Serk, Scorpio, Sirocco, and Typhon, the Typhoon. In the Egyptian list this head is described as 'hissing to come forth and turn back; seeing by night and bringing by day', a perfect description of Bennu or Phoenix type of returner."

KG:NOE:p70-71"She is the whore BABALON, the Scarlet woman of the Cult of the Beast. In Egyptian her name means the number seven (sefekh), she was the primordial goddess of the seven stars... 393 is the number of a highly secret Ophidian formula concealed in the name of an extra-terrestrial entity known as Aossic... the integers 393 (3+9+3=15=1+5=6), the number of the sun or solar phallic energy."

So we see a unity between these concepts. A phoenix-type returner, a conflagration, BABLON and a celestial relation, with some correlation with Aossic (?) and empowered with solar phallic energy (Set as midnight sun?).

An interesting note (with some biblio-mancy) is that in the last page of chapter 7 of Nightside of Eden page 76, Grant brings reference to, "The Book of Dyzan", and then this heralds chapter 8 (the number of submind and chaos). There also seems to be some relation to watery primordial teratomas which shall herald a return to chaos --> the Old Ones(?), water signs: Scorpio(?)"my sun is in Scorpio". The relation to BABALON also holds some connection with BINAH and we definitely have some crone type destructive energies here. The number of Babylon is 156 which is also the number of chaos. With Binah we have links to Set, which was integral with the rite of god-hood. 76=7+6=13 and we have a ton of links here, but check out the relations to Gargophias and the 13'th tunnel of Set, in the outer spaces. (This comes later)

Side note on the second sigil: inverse Libra (?) ~ absolute chaos.

7 is also a symbol of Set as an ax.

Sept is seven

The sixth and central cosmic power zone:beauty -->Tiphareth -->Sun/Son.

The number 6(sex):Vau --> Sexual Union

Zain: The number 7-->twins Set/ Horus (Gemini), 6'th and 7'th months Gemini -->Cancer. Sexual Polarity. Lovers of the Tarot. The letter zain spelled in full equal's 67 (reverse 76) which symbolizes the womb of the mother (Binah=67). In reversal, the dark(?) Mother, inverse birth (destruction?) -->The Phoenix again. There is also some relation to Sekmet.

On the gateway sigil (I do not know why I name it like this) [2]: Unity in Chaos, very similar to the mage as a uniter of worlds.

The third ritual is to follow this upcoming Tuesday, on my birthday, the moon is now waning.

Today is 11/8/98.

[2] is connected with ERIS somehow (I think) as it seems to fluctuate between the "hand of ERIS" and [2], I do not see any relation with the first sigil yet.

Sekhet ~ The fierce lion headed goddess of the south. Her ferocious qualities typify sexual heat and the fire of fermented drink (counterpart Bast), Sekhet is solar. From Sekhet derives the Indian word shakti, meaning power. Special reference to the fire snake (creative power).

76-15=61 (KALI-first divider) 15 is the first digital sum of 393.

Today is 11/10/98. My Birthday (Tuesday sacred to KALI)

I'm 24 years old, (I feel like I am 90). I got another tattoo today, on my left shoulder blade. An eye surrounded by a flaming sun.

(A 'symbol' of KIA/ Chaos & Self. I channeled all the pain while getting it into a prayer to amorphous KIA and HGA. I may develop this in the future as another possible working)

Today is 11/11/98.

A vision of the third sigil of the three (SIGIL OMITTED Call [3], this ritual was performed astrally). [1] is my will in heaven, [2] is a gateway/ transition, and [3] is my will on earth. [3]'s letter is j. I do not fully comprehend all of this yet.

The days from is 11/12/98-->11/19/98.

Note the correspondences which I noted over the last few days:

76-->7*6=(42){a}; 42-->4*2=8{b}(Chaos)

76-->7+6=13{c} (Hecate);13-->1+3=4{d} (Quarters/ Earth)

{d}{b}=442 -->The number of APMI ARTz 'The end of the earth'. Maat means 'rule', 'measure', 'length'-->Math's.

{b}{c}=813 (or 138)=(?)

76/2 = 38

Varying the operations a bit

{a}=42-->4+2=6 and {c}=13-->1*3=3

6+3=9, and 6*3=18= (1+8=9) or (1*8)=8 -->6+6+6(?)

Relevent Excerpts concerning numerical notations to the Book of the LAW (Aiwass),based upon numerical combinations and breakdowns (above).

I (Liber AL)

6: Be thou Hadit, my secret centre, my heart and my tongue.

7: Behold it is revealed by Aiwass the minister of Hoor-paar-kraat.

42: Let it be that state of manyhood bound and loathing. So with thy all, thou hast no right but to do thy will.

8: The Khabs is in the Khu, not the Khu in the Khabs.

13: I am above you and in you. My ecstasy is yours. My joy is to see your joy.

4: Every number is infinite; there is no difference.

(76/2=38)38: He must teach, but he may make severe the ordeals.

(76/4=19 prime)19: O azure lidden woman, bend upon them.

(11*7)=(77)=(76+1) and (2^2)*19=76 in it's prime factorization (by the fundamental theorem of arithmetic).

II (Liber AL)

6: I am the flame that burns in every heart of man and in the core of every star. I am life, and the giver of Life, yet therefore is the knowledge of me the knowledge of death (daath?)

7: I am the magician and the exorcist. I am the axle of the wheel, and the cube in the circle. "Come unto me" is a foolish word: for it is I that go.

42: A feast for everyday in your hearts in the joy of my rapture!

8: Who worshipped Heru-par-kraath have worshipped me; ill, for I am the worshipper.

13: for Why? Because thou wast the knower, and me.

4: Yet ye shall be known and I never

38: A feast for the 3 days of the writing of the book of the Law.

19: Is a God to live in a day? No! but the highest are of us. They shall rejoice, our chosen: who sorroweth is not of us.

*76*:4638ABK24ALGMOR3YX2489RPSTOVAL. What meaneth this o prophet? Thou knowest not; nor shall thou ever know. There cometh one to follow thee: he shall expound upon it. But remember, a chosen one to be me; to follow the love of NU in the star lit heaven; to look forth upon men, to tell them this glad word.

77: Be thou proud and mighty among men!

Side Note: This is some fucked up shit.

III (Liber AL)

6: Dung it about with enginery of war!

7: I will give you a war engine

42: The ordeals that thou shalt oversee thyself, save only the blind ones. Refuse none, but thou shalt know and destroy the traitors. I am Ra-Hoor-Khuit; and I am powerful to protect my servant. Success is thy proof: argue not; convert not; talk not overmuch! Them that seek to entrap thee, to overthrow thee, them attack without pity or quarter; and destroy them utterly. Swift as a trodden serpent turn and strike! Be thou deadlier than he! Drag down their souls to awful torment: laugh at their fear: spit upon them!

8: With it ye shall smite the peoples; and none shall stand before you.

13:But not now

4: Choose ye an island

38: So that thy light is in me; and it's red flame is as a sword in thy hand to push thy order. There is a secret door that I shall make to establish thy way in all the quarters (these are the adoration's, as thou has written), as it is said:

The light is mine; it's rays consume

Me: I have made a secret door

Into the house of Ra and Tum,

Oh Khephra and Ahathoor.

I am thy Theban, O Mentu,

The Prophet Ankh-af-na-Khonsu!

By Bes-na-Maut my breast I beat;

By wise Ta-Nech I weave my spell

Show thy star-splendor, O Nuit!

Bid me within thine House to Dwell,

O winged snake of light, Hadit

Abide with me, Ra-Hoor-Khuit!

19: That stele they shall call the Abomination of Desolation; count well it's name, and it shall be to you as 718

Note:I once live in a house at 718 in Brooklyn--

Note also: There are only 75 verses to chapter III (76-x=75)-->x=1

There are only 79 verse to chapter II(79-x=76)-->x=3

There are 66 versus to Chapter I(x-66=76)-->x=10

From Chpt I-->III (LIBER AL) we get the number arrangement 1031.(?) The parenthesis can be considered in absolute value, so the order of the terms under the operation does not matter.

Today is 11/20/98.

Running under the influence of Ma-huang. A connection! A communication (implied) from my HGA. The sigils themselves were precluded by some automatic drawings in the shapes of a phoenix, coatyl, firesnakes moving forward ([1]). The explosion of the bird (it's death and it's life for [2]). The serpent with it's tail coiled up ([3]). The formula of Liber Al vs. III:76 is in the pursuit of ones HGA. Grant uses the word IPSOS as it's word. I need to find this beings name. As of now it seems like a dark phoenix (x-men?)

Today is 11/21/98.

As I read through more material concerning Typhon-Set (ophidian pathways) I become more convinced that this contact was genuine, as I have had little to no fore knowledge about this area.

Today is 11/22/98.

Extreme emotionality last night (due to lack of sleep and life stuff). This emotional unction led me to offer another prayer to my HGA, my self, my god in the future. I felt the presence moving around me, as if someone was in the room with me. We are moving closer (I can feel it). These prayers and callings must be focused and channeled into one direction to achieve full gnosis (knowledge and conversation).

Between 11/23/98-->12/1/98.

(Some entries omitted)

A thought concerning the new Star Wars movie to come. It is episode one, which is the youth of Anakin Skywalker. Thinking on this... The rebirth of the villain of villains. Daarth Vader (Daath?). The once dead, now back before his death, before his fall, yet again. I believe this is tied firmly into the collective networks sub-mind, and the thanato-genesis of the grand-nemesis. Some correlation to The Phantom Menace on the rise for humanity in the near future?

12/2/98 (Tuesday)

I write this now in the last stages of ecstasy. The entire universe is at play. I invoked the gods tonight and was granted a vision of who and what I am.


These are WE

The universe was/is/will be a spinning wheel, at the center is/ was the Omega Point the end of all and the beginning. GOD? This was something beautiful and blissful beyond all comprehension. This was the heart of the Chaos star. This Oblivion was a loop in on itself, like a klein bottle.

It was all, "in" the universe, there was something else, but that comes later. This thing which was all, was the culmination of being. The point towards the evolution of all things. There was a hierarchy, not in the stupid human sense, but stages up the ladder towards this oblivion. One could not escape it ("in" this universe) because it is everywhere, but one can be closer to the center. The words fail here because it is like, "where does a Moebius strip start/ stop?" It was like an involuted manifold, but the "hole" was part of it also. The gateways and birth canal. This thing was. The layers came as beings which I was a part:

I am/ will be/ am not As./ A. It seems A. is like the older brother to As. and GRENDEL is me/ We. I was given this meaning and conversation by the three sigils which I received from the Right Of Godhood (ROG).

[1] This sigil whose number was 76 was heaven.

[3] This sigil was the vehicle on Earth.

[2] This sigil was a mystery until tonight. This sigil is like a cross section of the god manifold. It revealed itself to me after fusing the other two sigils. This sigil is revelation/ transmutation/ a unity of Heaven and Earth. End History.

This was when the being, myself(?) revealed itself/ myself to me. It was like it was beckoning me towards God-hood to form my own manifold and therefore, my own universe. Every person was a part of one of these beings (HGA's?), they were many and there are more others of As. like me, all part of him and he A. This is for all of humanity. The ineffable is; we must reach our own bliss.

I was visited by a goddess tonight and it scared the living shit out of me. I finished firing three sigils into the heart of Oblivion on the dance floor. I was placing the third one by this "Dark" dancing woman's feet. She did not see me. She turned around and came up to me in about a minute and took my hand and said, "Hello". "You know who I am, right." It was FUCKING BABALON!!! Now believe me when I say that I have never fucking seen a manifestation "in the flesh" of a deity. This weirded the shit out of me. She swept up my Desire into her being. She took me and a few others by the hand and danced with us, at the dance club. She wanted to play a little also. I felt un-worthy, but quickly shrugged this off and played the game. She smiled and danced with me and others. There was a form of telepathy (sort of). I think it was A., and he was telling me(sort of) about BABALON and the factions. BABALON was a servant, sort of like a mayor of a city in comparison to a governor of the state. Each of these factions (gods if you will) each had their own idea as to how the game should be played. She vanished after this and I knew she wanted me to partake of her bliss, instead of thinking on it.

Now I speak of the VOID. This was terrifying. It was isolated, cold, bleak, black and empty (all in one breath). It was here that things dwelled which were not and would not be. These things were very much like the Chthonic Old Ones. They existed in another universe that touched our manifold at every point. Magick is the ultimate language. There were things in the VOID which were not magick. This was very, let me repeat, very, scary, dark, hopeless, and dead beyond any words I could use.

The Holy Guardian Angel Operation is a revelation of ones wholeness. This being, which is many beings comprised together, "in the future." KIA/ magick/ life/ god/ power/ Love beyond love & Light. It seemed that no thing in it's "right" mind would want to dwell in the void, as it cracked and dissolved any petty ego associated with it. This message is for all of humanity, not just me. This god point is approaching, whatever the fuck that means. Maybe a birth to a new universe manifold "floating", in the VOID. Many universes each with their own being (-->Pandaemonaeon?). We are gods and many people are one of many one and so forth till ecstasy. There is so much more to existence than we might think. I encourage all to try this rite (ROG), an attuning with HGA, as one of the highest goals of the Greatwork. This is the Greatwork, to be a universe, to be absolute. It is so much beyond the "human" level now, that words really do not do it at all. The only thing I can say, and have been saying is, "Oh my god...Oh my god." I can't even describe this shit man. It seems also related to the zodiac in some way (maybe, I can't be sure).

Let me write a little bit of the background which elicited these un-coverings. This night I invoked many deities:

MOGLTHOX: to steal my corruption and purify me.

HARAKHAN: to bring me knowledge and wisdom of self.

BABALON: for her ecstasy and love.

TECKNO: to transport me to BABALON in his medium.

TIYET: to purify my dreams & submind, and give me the gift of her silence.

SET: as the dark sun, to show me the majesty and power of self.

Lucifer-christ: (as LuciferousChristos) to bring Love & Unity.

The Triple Goddess of the Moon and Dyonysis and others...

All along (months) I have been offering prayers to my "guardian angel" to meet (myself). The sigils were received after each ritual of the ROG. Each rite was performed as instructed by A. (this was written of previously, but I did not know it's name). The first two rituals were formalized, but the third was done (astral invocations) on my birthday night with dance astrally. Ketamine was used throughout. MDMA (BABALONS Sacrament) with Ketamine (Old Ones Sacrament) tonight. I offered prayers and Desire for communication and researched the Sigils and found some interesting links. The sigil [2] was revealed tonight and is a fusion of Heaven and Earth. I have not found any "practical" use of these sigils yet, but they have brought me in contact with, what I firmly believe to be my HGA, the "perfected" form of me, "in the future" of whom I am GRENDEL/ WE and will become As./ A. I have never heard of A. before, but it does bear a resemblance to AZATHOTH. I heard A somewhere before, a demon maybe, Babylonian?, I'll research this.

In final note. Magick is the ultimate communication and it is right to say that things are playing. All of this is play, a big game. The VOID was not. Nice place to visit but Cthulhu wants to live there (This is supposition on my part. I do not know if "Cthulhu" was there, but there were these things, unwholesome things). This is very much "real" and I exaggerate not. I encourage all magi to undertake the ROG, with adapting it as one sees fit and picking your own archetype (in my case GRENDEL) to align with. With this in mind I hope we can all learn to play a little more effectively, I love you all.


- Author

I will pursue this further


- There is no evil, but the things in the VOID came pretty close.

- After singing hymns of calling to the deities, but preceding the actual invocations, I read a little bit from the Book of Revelation (x-tian canon Cp 17(?), the part about BABALON & the great MYSTERY) and a little bit from Principia Discordia (concerning ERIS and the origin of the universe). It seems now as I write this that my mind is trying to make me forget (my censor I think).

- Another note on what was said by BABALON. "I came because you called me, silly." I told her I was scared, and thought myself unworthy, but she knew and understood me. This was communicated through words and something more (?). I do not know if BABALON possessed some woman or this was a physical manifestation, but others saw her, and danced with her also.

These results/ rite and prose are to be included in a forth-coming larger version, with methods and uncoverings after the 'Babalon incident'.

[anti-copyrite] AutonomatriX
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