PARKING SPACE RITE
The following is a rite of use to the mobile urban magician. For the driving magician there are four variables: Time. Space. Motion. and Acceleration. Because this rite deals with space in particular it makes constant reference to the number 4 and in particular to the 4 compass directions.
Before the rite, the magician collects material components (ideally 4 such components) from the blocks of urban territory which one would like to find parking spaces within. These components can include such things as:
* Bits of broken mirror, plastic, metal, or glass from cars parked in the street (hopefully cars which often park locally)
* Items found on the sidewalk, street, or gutters
* Asphalt or concrete (Concrete from a curb which has been painted red is forbidden. Such curbs are this rite's enemy.)
* Street signs, reflectors found between the yellow or white lines painted on the road, or even parking meters (for the ambitious only)
Also the magician shall prepare a container with a small quantity of one of her car's fluids (such as oil, brake fluid, or even window washing fluid).
0. Open with any ritual preferred.
1. While sustaining the gnosis from the previous ritual, shift the focus to the realm of city streets and cars. This can be done by holding or staring at the previously acquired components. Another good technique is to play pre-recorded traffic noises.
2. Visualize three large orbs/discs/globes of light in the middle of the ritual chamber. Only one orb is visualized at a time. First a green globe at head level, then a yellow globe at abdomen level, lastly a red globe at knee level. Optionally the magician may accompany these globes w/ the power words "GO", "SLOW", and "STOP".
3. Draw a hexagram to each compass direction and visualize the sigil for Saturn (which relates to space, cold asphalt, parking, and the like) in the center of the hexagram. While drawing the hexagram, vibrate an obscure name associated w/Saturn (Agiel and Zedekiel are 2 typical names).
4. Intone the following:
"About me are the components:"
<facing west> "Time"
<facing North> "Space"
<facing East> "Movement"
<facing South> "Acceleration"
5. The magician turns to the North and improvises a parking incantation or recites a memorized incantation. An example:
"Let Space bend to my Will! At my whim let there be plentiful parking spaces within a block of my destination! Let there be parking on weekends and on weekdays, during the day or late at night, on holidays, during rush hour, and any other damn time I want! Space opens before me where I least expect it! May meter maids bypass me in confusion and may tow trucks break down on their way to find me! In the name of Saturn, Lord of Space, let there be FREE PARKING!"
At the end of the incantation (immediately following the word "open" in the above example) let the magician make the sign of separating the bumpers. This sign looks exactly like Crowley's sign of rending the veil of the spirit: Both arms are put together before the magician w/ the hands touching & both palms facing outward. The magician separates his hands, as if doing the breast stroke or opening a curtain. While the magician does this she visualizes wide spaces opening between car bumpers. The magician repeats this in all the directions.
6. The magician anoints the material components with the prepared container of car fluid.
7. End by saying "May the lights shine green and the parking be plentiful!" Banish with laughter, because we all looking for that inner spiritual parking place.
8. Afterwards, return the material components to the streets. Ideally, there are 4 components which are placed at the 4 corners of the targeted parking area. The components are conceptualized as having a magickal influence on all the space within these 4 corners.
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