Fred Penner's Evil Twin

Fred Penner's Evil Twin

Hi, I'm Fred Penner's evil twin. I'm not really evil, it's just that my parents always liked Fred better.

The family video of Fred's birth shows it best. My parents weren't expecting twins, just one boy who would be perfect. Dad said that a lot on the video. "My boy's gonna be perfect." You can see the nurses look at each other every time he says it.

Then Fred was born. Dad looked at him and said "Why's my son got those bruises?"

And then I was born, one pound heavier and 2 inches longer than Fred. Dad pointed at me and said, "He's been kicking my son!"

And so I became, in my parent's eyes, Fred Penner's evil twin. And when Fred became famous, I didn't. But whenever an unsuspecting young mother gets a Fed Penner tape for her little darlings, I giggle. "He he he he he." And I go, too.

And when the cute little darlings sing one song, over and over, it sounds so cute, at first. And then it isn't cute anymore, and sometimes the mother lets me play my guitar. But the kids are so noisy, only the mother hears me.

And sometimes the little darlings sing the same chorus, over and over and over and over again. And then sometimes the mother lets me sing my version of the lyrics. and the kids are so noisy, only the mother hears me.

And sometimes a charming little darling asks, "Mommy, can you take us to the zoo tomorrow?" And sometimes, if it's been a bad day, the mother lets me out of the closet. And I sing for the children, "Mommy's taking us to the zoo tomorrow", the Brother's Grimm version.

And it goes like this:

Momma's dropping us at the zoo tomorrow,
zoo tomorrow, zoo tomorrow.
Momma's dropping us at the zoo tomorrow
We can stay all day.

(Chorus)
We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo.
How about you, you, you?
You can come too, too, too.
We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo.

Look at all the zoo keepers,
out on strike, out on strike
Look at all the zoo keepers out on strike.
We'll go anyway.

(chorus)

Look at all the shiny zoo gates,
Looked up tight, locked up tight.
Look at all the shiny zoo gates.
Momma left us some pliers.

(chorus)

Look at all the crocodiles.
They're so lonely, they're so lonely.
All the bears and lions, they're so lonely.
Let's give them a hug.

(Slowly - like a dirge)
We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo.
How about you, you, you?
You can come too, too, too.
We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo.

When the strike at the zoo was over, the zoo keepers found the pliers, and threw them away.

And one of the orangutans had a new baby girl. It only took them two weeks to discover it was actually a 6 month old baby human. And they never did find her mother!

Tips for Story tellers

"But what happened to the other kids, Daddy?"
What to do if you need to extend the story.

Disclaimer

As many of you know, the above song is a parody of a song that Fred Penner wrote, sings, and recorded. The original is (as far as I know) copyright by Fred Penner. And as many of you also know, parody is considered fair use under copyright law.

Also, this story is totally fictional. I am not related to Fred Penner. I like his songs, a few at a time, without too many repetitions.

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